Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Another's pain is funny!

Ok, anyone would be a little dumbstruck to have a broken bat flying at their heads, but check out the following:

1. The guy with the red hat; doesn't it just look like he's screaming "EEK!" What is it, a flying mouse?
2. The lady with the big black aviator sunglasses- ok, she looks so annoying that I kinda wish the bat hit her anyway.
3. The guy in the plaid shirt with the gum hanging out of his mouth-what is his deal? Ok, a bat is coming at you, are you trying to SCARE it away? "BRARRRRR! Be gone evil bat!" It's the real life Dr. Orpheus!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Tune In!

I am so stoked! (Is that even still a word? Ok, never mind, that was lame)
I'm way excited for Wednesday night's season premiere of

on the Sci-Fi Channel. For those of you unfamiliar with this awesome show, here is a quick synopsis:

Roto-Rooter plumbers by day, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson head up a paranormal investigation team by night. They mostly ghost hunt in the area surrounding their Rhode Island headquarters but have been known to travel the country and Europe to investigate famously haunted locations. (They even came to Ohio to check out the Mansfield Reformatory!)

The show usually airs two investigations a week. Each investigated is front loaded by a scene describing where they are going to investigate. The team then does a walkthrough of the location usually with the owner of the location explaining the haunted locations in the house. The team then sets up for the investigation.

The investigation lasts five or six hours. The show cuts between teams of two investigating various locations and shows them performing various ghost hunting techniques. After the investigation, the team collects their equipment.

The analysis segment comes next with team members watching/listening to the collected evidence searching for paranormal oddities.

Lastly is the reveal. The reveal takes place when Jason and Grant confront the haunted locations owner(s) with the evidence they have or have not collected. The reveal can also involve Jason and Grant giving helpful information to the owners as to how to deal with various hauntings.

Jason and Grant formed TAPS, or the Atlantic Paranormal Society.

How awesome would it be to actually do this and get paid??

Some day when I'm rich, I'm going to buy a Winnebago and travel the country investigating ghosties. And I'm going to rock at it. Yeah!

to keep the good feeling going...

Driving around doing deliveries today, I heard this song on the satellite radio. It's another one of those that you forget how much you love it until you hear it after a long absence. Just had to share, enjoy!

When In Rome - "The Promise"
Sometimes you forget to appreciate the really good things in life, did you ever notice that?
I mean, it's really easy to focus on life's minor annoyances. The chode who cuts in front of you, kids fighting with each other, some rude little salesgirl who makes you want to shake her til she turns blue and the only sound that comes out of her is "mep".
These things are easy to focus on. It's really hard to remember all the beautiful things. When my kids aren't trying to kill each other, and when they think I'm not looking are totally sweet to each other, when I get a totally sweet new avon customer,my beautiful friends, kitties, puppies, babies, (ok ok, you're right, I am on a hormonal upswing, but they don't come often so deal with it)
But one of my favorite beautiful things is my love for my hubby, and his for me. It's something I treasure, and never thought I'd find. Never thought I deserved, really. One of my most favorite things to do is just sit with him and insult each other. (Sounds douchy, but he knows what I mean! LOL!)
I'm dedicating this video to him, "Everything" by Michael Buble. Not only is it a great song, but sums up how I feel. In this crazy life, and in these crazy times, it's you, you make me smile, you make me sing, you're my everything.
I love you Andy.

Oh, and by the way, I put too much on the credit card today. Sorry? :)

Saturday, September 22, 2007

How to Scar Your Child For Life

"Ha ha ha...look at little brat....she so scared...Hee hee hee!"

Friday, September 21, 2007


It's kinda sad, and way embarrassing, that I have nothing better to do than watch crap like this on the internet. I could be cleaning my house, doing laundry, bagging up Avon orders, even exercising! (Ha ha, that was a good one!) But no, I am wasting time with funny kitties. Sad.

At least I'm not eating Bon Bons.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Rosie O Pisses Off the Oprah!

Rosie O’Donnell just got herself blacklisted by the most powerful woman in American media — Oprah Winfrey. According Page Six

Nobody says no to Oprah Winfrey - except Rosie O’Donnell. Insiders say Winfrey wanted to have her on her show to talk about O’Donnell’s book, “Celebrity Detox,” which bashes Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Donald Trump and others. But while many would kill to be on Oprah’s program, which sells books by the boatload, O’Donnell declined. “She’s doing an interview with Diane Sawyer instead,” our spy said. Cindi Berger, O’Donnell’s rep, said, “Rosie has always been booked with Diane. We gracefully declined Oprah’s offer. I’m sure Rosie will do Oprah’s show another time.”

Oprah’s response?

What have I ever done to make her treat me so disrespectfully? If she’d come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined her daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest woman like herself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

Then she calmly finished wrapping up the carp in newspaper, tied it with a piece of twine and spat on it before making the sign of the cross. You know she’s totally going to make Rosie an offer she can’t refuse. Something good, like wagon full of Twinkies or a lifetime supply of flannel. Or maybe just a shot gun barrel to the side of the face. One way or another, we’re going to be seeing Rosie O’Donnell on Oprah. Trust me. Never go against the Winfrey.



Ore. man puts snake in his mouth, nearly dies

10:59 AM PDT on Tuesday, September 18, 2007


A Portland man nearly died after putting a pet rattlesnake into his mouth to show off for friends.

Matt Wilkenson admitted that he made a poor decision, but he’d been drinking and messing around with friends and apparently lost some common sense.

“It's actually kind of my own stupid fault,” he told KGW.

Wilkenson said he’s always felt comfortable with his pet snakes and he thinks they could sense that.

“Their tails would be rattling you reach your hand in the cage and they're more scared of you than you are of them and they wouldn't strike,” he explained.

So when he was showing off his reptile relations with friends, he thought it would be fun to put the Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake into his mouth and make them laugh.

However this test of fate was not laughable at all.

The rattlesnake latched onto the back of his throat and sent venom surging into his body.

“Me being me, I put his head in my mouth,” Wilkenson recalled. “At first it felt like someone just gave me a shot in the mouth."

And within seconds, his tongue began to swell up, fill his mouth and cut off his airway.

"When your arm falls asleep and it's like a painful fall asleep, it's like that, but 10 times stronger and it was just my whole body,” he told KGW.

Wilkenson was dying and the pressure forced blood out of his nose. Doctors later told him the snake had shot enough venom in his body to kill as many as 15 people.

He was losing his life as he arrived at Oregon Health and Science University but quick-thinking doctors inserted a breathing tube in his throat and injected anti-venom into his body.

Wilkenson was also put into a medical-induced coma for three days, to give his body time to recover.

Miraculously, it all worked and three weeks later, he’s doing well. The hole in his throat is healing properly and doctors said he’s on the path to a full recovery.

Wilkenson said he’s still a snake guy, but he learned his lesson.

“I still love snakes, but I'll take a little more care in handling them,” he said.

As for the pet rattlesnake, it no longer lives at Wilkenson’s house. But he does still have a young bull snake as a pet that is not venomous.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Incredible likeness

Republican Candidate Fred Thompson and Vigo the Carpathian, from Ghostbusters II.
THIS is what we need in Washington, would you mess with this guy???

Kick ass!!!

Here ya go Maynard

Priceless. Perfect for the new parent.
Don't blink, or you might miss the Giant Dancing Turd!

An open letter to Kanye West

I will be the first to admit, I don't get into a lot of rap. I know what I like - I have various tastes in music. It took a while, but I became a fan of Eminem, I've ignored his misogynistic lyrics and taken them as they should be - a bit of advice. Ha ha. I've always liked Will Smith - he raps happy! I'll be the first to admit I'm white as they come, I have very little rhythm, and grew up with Elvis for God's sake. You even had me with Golddigger- that beat got into my head, your lyrics made me giggle; I was intrigued.

But I for the life of me cannot understand why you have a career.
Your questionable talent notwithstanding, you have to be the biggest douchebag in an industry where there is many.

And all political commentary aside, the whole "George Bush doesn't care about black people" thing...come on. Give me a freakin break. You're not helping your cause dude. We understand your frustration in something that was handled extremely badly, to say the least, but come up with half of an intelligent comment and you might be taken seriously.

And your crybaby whining over your losses at the VMA's. Good Lord. Who has been kissing your ass so much in the last few years to make you believe your talent is so incredible? I am so sick of turning on the tv and seeing your mongoloid mug. And now you're saying that MTV is trying to keep the black man down? Have you even watched MTV in the last 20 years?

What is it with you "artists" that make you think we want to listen to anything you say beyond your albums? (I'm not just talking about you here, try and deal with that, Ego.) Sheryl Crow, Jon Bon Jovi, Sting, Madonna...the list goes on. When the hell did you become political authorities? I don't care what you think, honestly. I can form my own opinions-really! You making an occasional enjoyable song does not mean you can tell my how to vote, or how much toilet paper to use. Duh. All of you need to get over your own self importance, and shut the hell up and sing. Or dance, or act, or direct, (except you Michael Moore, because I just remembered you're an even bigger douche than Kanye!) Leave the politics to the crooks who get paid for it.

Your friend,

Friday, September 14, 2007

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Which Superhero Are You?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Wonder Woman
Green Lantern
Iron Man
The Flash
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Information Superhighway

So I got an email the other day. You know one of those forwardable ones, that you delete immediately, unless you're extremely bored? Well, this one was actually kind of cool - it just asked you to Tag another person, with telling 10 things about yourself that would surprise someone who thinks they know you. Thought it was cool anyway, but I didn't feel like emailing it out and getting no replies, so if you want to play, feel free to reply. Here's mine!

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me! (The Trixter)

1. I used to be a Miss Cleo tarot reader on the Psychic Network.
2. If I could do anything else in life, ( besides selling Avon!) I would be on Broadway, performing in musicals.
3. I have ALWAYS wanted to adopt a child.
4. I'm actually a lot skinnier in real life- the human eye adds 50 lbs.
5. My absolute favorite food is Brussell sprouts.
6. I can stick my tongue up my nose. Don't ask me why, I just can.
7. I didn't have my first kiss til I was 18. (Ok, that one's embarrassing)
8. My nickname as a child was Pookie.
9. The only time I ever got really drunk, I ended up standing up in my bedroom at 4 in the morning and peeing on the carpet, and later had to blame it on the dog. (Ok, slightly embarrassing, but still not as bad as #7)
10. I really love old Doris Day and Rock Hudson movies.

Ok, that's me in a nutshell. Ooooohhhh.....exciting!

Joke of the Day

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

A "WTF" Moment

With regards to my pal Maynard, on his recent rant about organized sports, I repeat, WTF?!?!

So....Al Gore DIDN'T Invent It?