Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Bea Arthur can drive you crazy....

GO TRIBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man! Richard Simmons Got OLD!!!

Another funny clip of Dave Letterman ridiculing Richard. Ya know what tho? I really dig Richard. I've always watched him, even when he had his old show on in the 80's, where he would give an exercise class, a cooking demo, and inevitable a crying session. He's a total weirdo, no doubt, but he does really seem like he has always tried to help people. In this clip, he has been trying to get a bill passed for mandatory phys ed in school. (Ok, I have the nightmare flashbacks to prove, I thought it WAS mandatory already?) But I will spread this clip around for him, I agree with what he's trying to do.

Mad props to ya, Richard!

More Aid in Food-Assisted Suicide

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (AP) -- The people who brought you the Monster Thickburger and the 1,100-calorie salad are at it again -- this time for breakfast.

"We don't try to hide what these are," a Hardee's spokesman said of the 920-calorie breakfast burrito.

Hardee's on Monday rolled out its new Country Breakfast Burrito -- two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla. The burrito contains 920 calories and 60 grams of fat.

Brad Haley, marketing chief for the St. Louis-based fast-food chain, said the burrito offers the sort of big breakfast item normally found in sit-down restaurants with an added advantage.

"It makes this big country breakfast portable," he said.

In 2003 the chain introduced a line of big sandwiches, including the Monster Thickburger. The 1,420-calorie sandwich is made up of two 1/3-pound slabs of beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered bun.

Even Hardees' chicken salad -- topped with onion rings and crispy chicken -- has 1,100 calories and 83 grams of fat.

The chain does offer some low-calorie options, including roast beef and chicken sandwiches.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a Washington-based advocate for nutrition and health, has called the Hardee's line of Thickburgers "food porn."

The group's senior nutritionist, Jayne Hurley, said Monday that the burrito was "another lousy invention by a fast-food company."

The "country breakfast bomb," as she called it, represents half a day's calories and a full day's worth of saturated fat and salt, to say nothing of cholesterol.

"That's all before 10 o'clock in the morning," she said.

Haley makes no apologies.

"We don't try to hide what these are," he said. "When consumers go to other fast-food places they feel like they've got to buy two of their breakfast sandwiches or burritos to fill up. This is really designed to fill you up."

The government's Center for Nutritional Policy and Promotion recommends a daily caloric intake ranging from 1,600 calories for sedentary women and older adults to 2,800 calories for teenage boys and active adults. Hardee's sees its core customers as young men ages 18 to 34, Haley said, though it expects a wider range for breakfast items.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Man Cold

Millions of men everyday suffer from this debilitating illness. And women everywhere just don't get it. We need to raise awareness about The Man Cold. Maybe Bono could do a telethon.


The Carol Burnett Show was such a staple of my childhood. Many a time I would have Mom put my hair up in curlers and I would do my impression of her, telling jokes; I even had the whole ear tug thing going! Remember how hilarious it would get when Tim Conway would get going and have everybody in stitches? They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Bush Detects New Threat

Andy and Maynard,....You are in Luck!!!

Britney Wants YOU for Some Ding Dang Dancin'!

Posted Oct 15th 2007 7:43AM by TMZ Staff
Filed under: Train Wrecks, Britney Spears

Talk about getting your freak on: TMZ has learned that Britney Spears will be holding an open casting call this afternoon for dancers for her new video and upcoming tour. And by "open," Britney really means it -- anyone can show up at Millennium Dance Studio to audition from 5-9 PM.

We're told that Britney is supposed to be there, and that everyone who shows up will be put on tape so Brit can watch more of them later. Could the Next Great Federleezy be discovered today?

Of course, Spears was supposed to be at auditions last Thursday and Friday as well, and we all know how that turned out.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Freakin' Awesome!!

This gal has so much talent she makes my ears bleed. But, MAN, is she committed!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

It's amazing what a little makeup can do!

I feel a hate crime coming on...

Dedicated to my pal Maynard, who has a most unhealthy fascination with the defendant in this video...

Friday, October 5, 2007

Which "Hero" Are You?

For those of you who are as addicted to "Heroes" as my hubby is, and for those of you like me who have no idea who anyone is aside from the damn cheerleader that you see EVERYWHERE, here is a quiz to see which Hero you would be.

Turns out I'm 'Isaac', whoever that is. "A creative person that uses art as an outlet for coping with what the world throws at you. You may have a tortured soul, but through your pain you will help the world."

Uh, yeah...that's me. I'm way tortured...

Here's the link:

National Alert

That Full House Episode Where They Meet The Beach Boys Is On Tomorrow At 3 P.M.

WASHINGTON, DC—The United States was placed on high alert this morning as the Department of Homeland Security revealed credible evidence suggesting that tomorrow afternoon at approximately 3 p.m., 2 p.m. Central, ABC Family Channel will air that one Full House episode where the Tanners meet the Beach Boys.

We strongly advise all Americans to remain indoors between 3:00 and 3:30 p.m., huddle close together with their loved ones, and sit still and stay completely silent unless it's a commercial," Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said during a live television address this morning. "In fact, we recommend you be fully prepared by 2:58, so you don't miss the part in the beginning where Danny, Uncle Joey, and the rest of the gang talk like surfers."

Although a general advisory to watch classic Full House episodes is always in effect, government records rate this episode as a 9.1 out of 10, or "Superb." Episodes of this caliber and higher require nationwide warnings.

"Based on Internet chatter pieced together from ABC Family message boards, we can say with relative certainty that it's the one where D.J. wins Beach Boys tickets in the radio contest, but she can only bring one guest, and she picks Uncle Jesse, and Danny gets upset, and then the Beach Boys come over to their house for some reason and start singing 'Kokomo,'" CIA Director Michael Hayden said. "We are unable to reveal any more information at this time, since doing so might ruin all the best parts."

"However, I'm confident the American people know which one we are talking about," Hayden added. "Remember? There's a concert, and the Tanners go onstage and sing? Oh, and the Beach Boys do the 'Beach Boy huddle.' You'll remember once you start watching."

CIA intelligence could not confirm whether or not Kimmy Gibbler makes an appearance during the episode.

"Keep your eyes and ears open," said Chertoff, noting that the threat of laughter is "very real" and that the situation should be taken lightly. "It is up to each and every one of you to be aware of the small but memorable moments, like Joey and Jesse's jingle for Beach Butter Suntan Lotion, or that ridiculous yellow blazer Deej wears to the concert. And only through constant vigilance will you catch Danny's 'Smurfs on Ice' joke."

All citizens have been urged to immediately contact relatives, friends, and neighbors and assure them that little Michelle says something adorable, being absolutely clear exactly which Full House episode featuring the Beach Boys they mean, since the band appeared in two other episodes later in the series. Those who do not have access to cable are advised to seek refuge with someone who does.

"Be warned—this is not the one where the Tanner family goes on vacation to Hawaii and Danny has his 'Clipboard of Fun' and they end up lost because the island they were sailing to turned out to be a potato-chip crumb on the map and then there's Joey and that hula dancer that he keeps seeing and something about Uncle Jesse and Elvis," Chertoff said. "That episode is from the third season, and contrary to popular belief, the Beach Boys do not appear in it."

"We repeat: This is not the Hawaii one," Chertoff added.

The announcement has been met with criticism from citizens who claim the warning has come too late, although the DHS has known about it for months. Many are comparing the situation to the tragic events of 4/13, in which the American people were not notified about the Cheers episode where Cliff goes on Jeopardy! until there were only two minutes left in the show and all the funny parts were over.

Chertoff said the DHS has drawn up a recommended course of action for those who may have to miss the episode in the event of an emergency.

"If you are planning to record the episode using a digital recording device, I have four words of advice for you: 'Save until manually erased,'" Chertoff said. "And for those of you who own the second season on DVD, well, lucky you. Go check out Disc 4, the Howie episode, where Michelle says 'Howie no go.' Priceless."

The DHS discontinued the practice of videotaping classic TV episodes and loaning them out to citizens when, in 2006, they accidentally recorded over the latest al-Qaeda tape with the Home Improvement Christmas special where Mark thinks Wilson is Santa.

Source: The Onion

Monday, October 1, 2007

Time Passages

Andy was going through his computer tonight and found this old pic of Molly in pre-school. This adorable little round face has given us so much joy, and so many headaches. But, they're good headaches. Even when she's talking so much I just want to rip my arm off and stick it in my ear so I can get some peace and quiet, I just look at this little face and I see God.

Then, age 4...

Now, age 8.