Thursday, May 29, 2008

Why don't you just string him up, Lady?

I'm sure you've seen this, but if you haven't, enjoy this idiot.

FOX contributor Liz Trotta on Senator Barack Obama, "mistakenly" calling him "Osama", (mistake, right; she obviously calls him that on purpose) jokes about assassinating him, which is always funny. Ha Ha, Liz! You go girl! Cause murder is HILLarious!!

I knew it! Rachael Ray is a Terrorist!

Not really.

The Boston Globe reports that Dunkin Donuts caved to pressure from the conservative blogosphere — and the fear of a mass boycott — and removed the ad:

The company at first pooh-poohed the complaints, claiming the black-and-white wrap was not a keffiyeh. But the right-wing drumbeat on the blogosphere continued and by yesterday, Dunkin' Donuts decided it'd be easier just to yank the ad.

Said the suits in a statement: ''In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.''

Malkin praised the decision in her column, writing,

It's refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists. Too many of them bend over backward in the direction of anti-American political correctness....

Fashion statements may seem insignificant, but when they lead to the mainstreaming of violence -- unintentionally or not -- they matter. Ignorance is no longer an excuse. In post-9/11 America, vigilance must never go out of style.

Malkin has previously lauded Dunkin Donuts for its support of immigration laws.

Note: Ok, I don't know who this Michelle Malkin is, but she sounds like a real piece of work. Not that I'm a huge fan of Rachael Ray, but come on. Let's pick on her for something else, maybe her maniacal bloodlust for fame, or her charming lack of fashion sense, but don't call her a terrorist. Retards.

Monday, May 26, 2008


This is Dewey. He's the slow boy who lives on our block. All Dewey ever wanted was to laugh and play with the other boys. Good for you, Dewey!!

Monday, May 19, 2008

My new man

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Check it out

My comrads and I have formed our own little ghost-hunting group, entitled "Paranormal Evaluation, Research and Validation Society". Yes, we are Ohio P.E.R.V.S. Nothing implied by the title. Anybody that knows us will of course believe that. You can follow our adventures here.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sounds good to me

Supporting Americans Living with Autism Spectrum Disorders: More than one million Americans live with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), a complex neurobiological condition that has a range of impacts on thinking, feeling, language, and the ability to relate to others. As diagnostic criteria broaden and awareness increases, more cases of ASD have been recognized across the country. Barack Obama believes we need to research treatments and search for the causes of ASD. He has been a strong supporter of more than $1 billion in federal funding for ASD research on the root causes and treatments. Obama believes we must work to guarantee that Americans with ASD can live independent and fully productive lives and to assure that their families understand and are able to support a loved one with ASD. Obama will fully fund the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act to ensure that no child with ASD or any other disability is left behind. Obama will also fight to assure that the government and our communities work together to provide a helping hand to people with ASD and their families.

Obama has a long record supporting people with ASD. In the state senate, Obama sponsored legislation that became law to create the ASD Program - a systems development initiative designed to promote the implementation of evidence-based practices. And in the U.S. Senate, Obama is also a cosponsor of a measure that would expand federal funding for life-long services for people with ASD, authorizing approximately $350 million in new federal funding for key programs related to treatments, interventions and services for both children and adults with ASD.


Where my party people at?

I'm posting this cuz I'm cool...and hip...and young....oh, and 'wit it'. Yeah.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Thankfully, this did not happen to me at Walmart, although I can see why you would think so...

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict' s intuition, since I was indeed single I looked at the
six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

It's real and it happens.

Amish road rage.

Valedictorian Speech - Watch more free videos

This is the coolest kid ever.

Women's restroom...

Don't tell me this hasn't happened to you.

Can I just say I love Rodney Carrington? If you haven't seen his Comedy Central special, well then your head must be in the sand, cause it's on all the time. He's hilarious.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dedicated to my pal Maynard

Go ahead, baby. Bask in their awesomeness.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Ode to a chicken sammich.

Dear McDonalds.

Dear, Sweet McDonalds.

You and I are no strangers to one another. Not by a longshot. Why, I even worked for you for a bit. Fattiest 3 years of my life. I remember what a treat you were, when I was a child, and it was a major deal to be taken to see you. What excitement a small child feels when greeted by that evil, sorry, cute little clown face of Ronald! I remember when I worked there, how great it was, to cook my own lunch; O! What sweet freshness!

But then! You changed things. In your zest for speed, and catering to the mass humanity of ass-hats that can't wait for anything, you streamlined your cooking. What once was juicy, burger happiness, had become gray, tasteless mystery meat, and hunks of questionable chicken parts. Why? You gave me hope with your McRib - even though only God knows what it is made of, the taste was superb. But,again, you let me down in that my favorite sandwich became a "special" item, meaning it's more rare to see than Haley's comet.

So, I have become disheartened by you McDonalds. Until recently.

I see a commercial for a new sandwich. The "Southern Style Chicken" sandwich. Oh, what holy hell is this, I think pessimistically. A sad rip-off of Chik Fil-A? I'll never give it a shot, I think. Why be let down again? But, as I'm going through your drivethru today, bored as always with the choices that lay before me, trying to recoup after a complete shit-hole of a day at work, I bite the bullet, and order it.
I receive my order. What ho? A box, not a molten sticky wrapper that lets my meal be smashed to an unrecognizable lump! I am intrigued! Then, I open the box, and what do my eyes see? A piece of chicken, extending over the bun!!!! Stay with me here - the bun was actually smaller than the meat itself! Could this actually have happened at McDonalds?!
I take a bite, and have to close my eyes. My pulse begins to race, as the juicy, buttery softness of the fried chicken fills my palette. I brace myself for the grease that is sure to be present, only something with this much taste has to be full of grease, but it is not there! Juicy, chickeny goodness fills my mouth, and it is fresh, and it is wonderful. This is comfort personified. Oh sweet Heaven. I take another bite, and another, until there is nothing left, and I am spent. Oh so wonderful. And for once, after a McDonalds meal, I am not left shaken and spent and wishing I had taken a different path. All is right with the world. For now.

Please McDonalds, please keep this "Southern Style Chicken" on your normal line-up. I fear for my psychological make-up if you take it away from me. Or, at the very least, if you must replace it, make it something chocolatey. Thanks.