Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Friday, July 25, 2008

Retro Trixie

I've been in a weird mood lately, pondering life and death and our place in the universe. Yeah, right. Actually, I was wondering what happened to all my favorite candy bars that I grew up with, and became melancholy at their absence. So this got me to looking around on the 'net and doing a search for all that was wholesome and glorious about growing up in the 70's. Feel free to share your own in the comments!

1.) Candy Lipstick/Jewelry
I don't know about you, but as a little girl, this was a cool one. Wanting to be 'grown up' enough to play with mom's makeup and jewelry, but this was even better cause you could eat it!

2.) Sugar Babies
Although these aren't exactly retro, and are still easily found, they do take me back to a simpler time. Unfortunately, it happens to be a time when I used to get drunk with my friends and for some reason always craved these when I did. I can remember distinctly riding around in the back of my friend's Ford Escort, with a 2 liter bottle of Sun Country wine cooler in one hand, and pack of Sugar Babies in the other. My poor friend Amy later got grounded for 2 weeks because her dad found ground-in sugar-coated goodness all over the back seat. Stuff's impossible to get out, especially in the teeth; which is one reason my dental bills have been so high as an adult.

3.) Holly Hobbie

I LOVED anything Holly Hobbie when I was a kid. I had the Easy Bake Oven, the lunchbox, the little doll with the gazebo. I loved her so much, I even bought the gazebo off of ebay a couple years ago. It's currently sitting in a box in my garage. I haven't done anything with it, and let's face it, Molly is not big on dolls anymore, so why do I keep it? Dunno. But it's still there, for when I need it.

4.) "Little Professor" calculator

Remember this guy? I found one at the antique mall a while back, and one look at it made me feel like I was a kid again. It's amazing how electronics have grown; my kids get to play with the Wii, I had a calculator. Wheee.

5.) Tree Tots Treehouse

Ok, who did not have one of these? With the pop-up top, and the handle that you can carry it with you to Gramma's house, this was our version of the game-boy.

6.) Free To Be You and Me

This was a movie that we used to watch every year in school on the last day before Christmas break. (You know, back when you could call it 'Christmas Break' and not "Winter Festivus" for fear of offending someone?) It featured Marlo Thomas, Roberta Flack, and Rosey Greer, to name a few, and a young Michael Jackson, back when he was still black, and a male, and not looking like (to quote my daughter) 'something from Cat in the Hat'.

It's so funny how little things can take you back to your childhood; a song, a smell, a taste. It's comforting somehow I guess. I hope my kids have little things like that to look back on fondly. I just hope it's not anything to do with Paris Hilton.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Rachael Ray Sucks Community

What is the deal, I ask you people? Of all my postings this past year, the only one that people read is about Rachael Ray. With everything that goes on in this crazy world, one little freak is getting far too much attention. Yah, I said it. Freak. But, lest you think I am a big old meanie pants, I will direct you to a new website I've found that takes it a step further.

The Rachael Ray Sucks Community

With name twists such as "the Boobless Wonder", "Whorelet", "Wretchel Ray", or my personal favorite, "Rectoidal Ray", the geniuses behind this anti-fan site have way too much time on their hands, and what is so completely ironic is they seem to have no idea that with their bashing they are only furthering her popularity, because people like you that do searches for her, scrabbling for any piece of info on her that you can feast your weird little eyes on, will go right to the site. And of course, what happens after your visit? Well, if no naked pics are found, half of you will harrumph in defeat and go somewhere else, the other half will fly into outrage that someone is dissing the golden girl, and unleash the rage through anonymous posts on the site. Either way, ya gotta check it out.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

So Megaton Maynard has announced his new sidekick

Thank you for being a friend.

RIP Estelle Getty
July 25, 1923-July 22, 2008

Friday, July 11, 2008

I freakin' love Craig's List

Ok, I was really bored, and surfing the best of Craig's List, and came across this little gem. It made me giggle.

to the guy doing my wife
Date: 2008-02-21, 1:43PM CST

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentaly challenged.

8.When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.

* Location: omaha
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 581897835

Another gem from Craig's List

To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m
Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT

I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".

Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 708850980

Ok, I know what you're thinking...

Although there is a striking resemblance between this couple and another pair of hotties you all know and love, I can assure you, Andy is not that hairy. Besides, if we were actually at a Nascar event, don't you think you would have heard about it endlessly from him?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sometimes you just need a wife

I must be really tired....

....because this made me laugh my butt off.
There's nothing quite so precious as a baby's laugh...except when it's completely ruined by putting it in slow-motion...it sounds like this baby is getting ready to feast on the blood of puppies...as I said, it's late and I'm tired....sorry.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

More reasons why I'm so glad I'm taken

http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

This is a hilarious bit of creepiness, phone messages that were left for some lucky gal named Olga, from a guy named Dmitri, that supposedly met for like 2 minutes. It's a complete mystery why she didn't call this guy back right away.

Good planning.

This is what I want from gymnastics