TV's Brian Austin Green! What brilliant casting! It's about time he came back to the small screen, bringing his awesomeness to the masses. (For those of you who tivo'd, I won't tell you his identity, but it's awesome) So, while I'm basking in the glow, I happen to have a conversation with my BFF, who just happens to be the wife of my pal and favorite superhero, Megaton Maynard. What follows is my artistic interpretation of the night's events, as seen from the eyes of Maynard.
You can tell Maynard is very fatigued from saving humanity today, he thinks he will sit down and enjoy a nice television program. Ah, yes, Sarah Connor Chronicles is on; their meager attempts to save the world make him giggle. It's almost as if he is experiencing his own first days as a Superhero.
So he stretches out his huge rippling muscled legs to enjoy the evening. The scenes are unfolding before him in dazzling HD, thanks to a recent purchase. What's this? A new face on the screen?
Can it be?
Maynard's thoughts race! This face he thought he left behind years ago - it's back? This face that has haunted his dreams, challenged his very manhood, made him doubt his very existence as a superhero, is thrown back into his life. Brian Austin Green.
TV's David, Michaelangelo's David, the images blur into his psyche. That face, only a god could create. Those rippling biceps, the chiseled abs, perfectly hairless, just the way Maynard likes. He can almost smell the heady mixture of Polo and Abercrombie.
Maynard thought these feelings would be buried forever, but alas, everything has come back in a whirlwind of explosion into his mind! How could Fox do this to him? He thought he could outrun his past, I mean, Tom Cruise ran away from it, how could a superhero such as Maynard fail?
Finally, Maynard is able to gather his Super-wits about him, encasing himself in the cloak of deceipt that has guided him for so many years. (Since the 90's at least)
He will go on with his life, saving the world one step at a time, fighting every last foe that stands in the way of life, liberty, and justice. And the love that dare not speak its name will be buried once more. Forever.
Or at least until syndication.
2 comments:
Damn...you serve me like that? Oh it's on
I meant no disrespect...I only wanted to convey your feelings honestly. Through your words, maybe another lost soul will heal.
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