Stupid is as stupid does.

I hate being stupid. No, I should say, I hate feeling stupid. If I were really stupid, I wouldn't know it, right? Hopefully.
Anyway, started the new job this week. I should have known when my boss and the gal interviewing me tried to warn me away from it. Phrases like, "strong learning curve" and "extreme multi-tasking" should have scared me.
Now we all know I have been out of the working world for quite a while. I haven't actually worked at a real job in...well, a really long time. Unless you count the 6 months at a scrapbook shop, that, while I loved it, quite frankly spoiled me. It was more fun than job anyway. Before that I was blessed to be able to stay home with the kids. Now that they're older, and economy being what it is, it's time to grow up and face the real world and get back into the workforce. So, I finally found a job with an animal hospital. Again, the doctor that hired me warned me that he had trained 3 people in the last three months who ended up quitting.
Red flag? Of course not! Cause I'm stupid.
I assured him that I could do the job. I wasn't scared by multi-tasking, I'm old enough to know what happens to sick puppies and kitties, I can handle bitchy customers. All of that was ok with me, I told him.
After 2 days on the job, I can honestly say last night I was tempted to quit. I have totally gotten in over my head. The computer system is completely daunting to me, and I have experience with computers. Checking in patients, extremely confusing how much paperwork goes into it. Making appointments, sounds easy in theory, but I have to know what vaccines each type of animal needs, and at what age they are supposed to get them, and order them up for the doc to perform. I'm supposed to know each of the flea/tick medication guidelines, which ones work for what parasite, which ones are poisonous to cats, which ones are done at which age. Endless. I know I will be given time to learn all this, but, like I said, I hate feeling stupid. I got chastised by the doc the first day because I called a dog an "animal." No. They are "pets" or "friends", or even "children". Right.
I am proud of myself that I was able to handle things I didn't think I would. I cleaned up more pee yesterday than I did training 2 kids. I watched them putting a big dog under anesthesia without wincing. I watched the doc lance a sebaceous cyst without barfing. Learned what was in the big old chest freezer in the corner without passing out. (Dead puppies by the way)
I worked til close last night, which was supposed to be 8, but didn't get out til 9:30, and I was so tired and emotional I was ready to quit. It didn't help when I got home to a crying 8 year old, who was sad cause Mommy wasn't there to tuck her in. No pressure there!
But I don't want to quit! I hate being a quitter and - no, actually I love being a quitter. That's the problem. I've quit everything I've ever tried. I'd like to finish something for once.
What I really hate is being a whiner. I know, you wouldn't guess that if you've been a loyal reader to the Trixie blog. But I actually do. Hate it, that is. I'm my own worst enemy in case you didn't get that. But aren't we all really?
I really want to do well at this, cause I really think I'm going to like it, once I learn a thing or two. Or twelve. Right now I feel like all I'm doing is standing around being dumb. Like a large ignorant lump. And it sucks.
Sorry, loyal readers, for ranting today. I promise I'll post something about Rachael later for you.