Back at ya, Maynard

Ok, technically - not a Japanese game show, but still....watchable?

Amy Winehouse's 12 Days of Christmas

New Creature Discovered in Desert

An "extraordinary" desert creature has been caught on camera for what scientists believe is the first time.

The long-eared jerboa, a tiny nocturnal mammal that is dwarfed by its enormous ears, can be found in deserts in Mongolia and China.

Zoological Society of London (ZSL) scientist Jonathan Baillie said the footage was helping researchers to learn more about the mysterious animal.

The species is classified as endangered on the IUCN Red list.

The unusual animals were filmed in the Gobi desert during an expedition led by Dr Baillie.

Until now, the creatures had proven extremely difficult to study, thanks to their minuscule size, nocturnal nature and the harsh desert environment that they inhabit.

Dr Baillie told BBC News that he was "ecstatic" to have tracked down the jerboas.

"These creatures hop just like a kangaroo; it is amazing to watch. Little hairs on their feet, almost like snow shoes, allow them to jump along the sand," he explained.

"And in terms of mammals, they have one of the biggest ear-to-body ratios out there."

The footage revealed that the creatures spent daylight hours in underground tunnels beneath the sand, and that their diet was mostly made up of insects.

"The long-eared jerboa is a bit like the Mickey Mouse of the desert, cute and comic in equal measure," Dr Baillie said.

By setting pitfall traps, the researchers were also able to look at the rodents close-up and to begin to estimate their population.

Dr Baillie added that although there was still much to learn about the rare rodent, it was already believed to be under threat from habitat disturbance.

"We travelled to the Gobi to find out about the animal's status and learn more about it so we can develop a thorough long-term action plan."

The expedition formed part of ZSL's Edge programme, which focuses its efforts on conservation plans for animals that are both endangered and evolutionarily distinctive.

The long-eared jerboa is one of 10 species that the programme is looking at this year.

"These amazing, remarkable creatures are on the verge of extinction and we know almost nothing about them," warned Dr Baillie.

He added that it was important not to overlook desert habitats in conservation.

"Everyone thinks the desert is a totally desolate area, void of biodiversity, and often when conservation planning is done, deserts are overlooked.

"But there are some remarkable species in the desert, so we really need to start paying attention to this environment."

An Edge scientist has now been appointed to further study the species.

Trixie's Note: Okay, if this little bugger was just 'discovered', is it such a stretch of the believable to think that there might just be an ape-like humanoid creature in the deep forests of America? Hmmmmmmm?

Racheal Ray is a dirty bitch. (Not my opinion, someone else's)

New York Comedian and former Rachael Ray fan Sara Jo Allocco had the opportunity to see Ray live and in person at a taping of her popular daytime talk show. It is during this taping that Sara discovered a truly awful secret: Rachael Ray is a huge, huge bitch. What follows is her report of the experience, where Ray ignored the crowd, acted like a c***, and caused a group of friendly travelers to miss their flight home. It reads as a warning to mid-Western housewives everywhere: Avoid this show at all costs!

This Tuesday, a friend and I headed over to a midtown Manhattan studio to attend a very special taping of The Rachael Ray Show. Now, I know a lot of people can’t stand Rachael Ray. In fact, I feel like MOST people can’t stand her, but I actually like watching her cook because her meals are very easy (i.e., a chimp like me can make them with little to no, make that no, effort). I will say that I was a bit worried when I read the e-mail and it said to be prepared to be there for “several hours”. I mean, how much of this woman’s “EVOO’s” and “I Know, RIGHT!?’s” can one person take?

We arrived and stood outside in the cold, at 1pm (check-in was at 2:15). After being selected off of the line by one of the many PA’s, we were happily whisked away to another holding area with a group of Pennsylvania housewives who made a big trip to NYC, complete with lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp. My friend and I pushed our way to the one small heater in the hallway, hogging up the vital toe-thawing area. Finally, after nearly melting my knee-high leather boot into my leg, I decided it was time for them to let us in. After all it was like 3pm at this point. So the line slowly starts making its way thru security (honestly they have better security at this show than at Laguardia), which then leads to an elevator, which then leads to… her set?! Not even close. Another holding cell. Fear not: They had Rachael Ray approved Dunkin Donuts coffee (that was already gone) and Sara Lee muffins that could thoughtfully also be used to fix any wall cracks that may pop up.

Eventually, we were seated on her set and the warm up comic comes out. He’s adorable and funny and he deserves an Emmy and a Dunkin Donut’s endorsement deal; hands down, he was the highlight of the show. In fact the crew was lovely and friendly.

My beef is with Ms. Ray herself. When Rachael came out for her first bit (they taped three different show segments so, she had three different wardrobe changes), she simply walked onto the set as if to say, “Yeah I’m here. Let’s f**king start people”. In fact, I could be wrong, but she may have actually come right out and said that.

Anywho, as I’m about to whisper “What a bitch” to my friend, she beats me to it. I nod in agreement. This continues on for the duration of time Rachael Ray is in front of us. She never warmed up to the crowd, and barely made eye contact. I couldn’t help feel disappointed. Almost like that time when I was 7 and I accidentally walked into the dressing room at Chuck E. Cheese’s and saw Mr. Munch (my favorite character) with his head off scratching his balls. Now, I’m not expecting Ray Ray to be the loud, bubbly, cookie monster sounding maniac she appears to be on television. Nor do I expect her to personally shake each and every one of our hands and exchange recipes. I also know how TV works, and that it must be stressful and tiring to shoot three different episode segments, cook all day, and keep up this bubbly “I’m the cutest” personality. But for the money she makes, she can punch it up a bit more. It almost seemed like she was annoyed that we were even there, that she was put in this position to make millions in order to please the always-hungry masses. Well Eff That Ess! Bone up, Ray, it’s Shobiz!

All in all, I can’t say I was totally surprised, because I’m never surprised when a “celebrity” turns out to be an a**hole. Hell they’re human. But I didn’t run into her in the pasta aisle of Whole Foods and demand a photo… I went to see her freaking show. But I can’t complain nearly as much as the row of women who missed their flight back home to Middle America. That’s gotta suck worse than Rachael’s “Rayisms” and self proclaimed “Awesomeness.”

Next time I’m on the verge of catching hypothermia, it will be for Martha Stewart, plain and simple.

source: BestWeekEver.tv

She got rhythm!

I love this lady! Cover of Britney's "Gimme More", and I gotta tell ya, in my opinion, she shows more animation than Brit's last performance.

What I'm getting Baby Sara for Christmas

The Green Team! (NSFW)

Ghost caught on film?

I'm putting this on my Wish List!

Stars Back for Ghostbusters Game
from: BBC News

The original cast of Ghostbusters have signed up to lend their faces and voices to a new game based on the hit film series, reports say.

Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson have all agreed to take part, says trade paper Variety.

Aykroyd and Ramis, who wrote the original films, will also pen the story for the game - which will be set in New York City during a new ghoul invasion.

The game will be released on all major consoles in late 2008.

It comes on the heels of several other classic movies that have recently been adapted into successful video games, including The Godfather and Scarface.

'Iconic'

"We noticed we did well on Scarface and were alert for new opportunities to turn iconic film products into games in a way that is a new manifestation of the franchise," Vivendi Games chief executive Bruce Hack said.

"Ghostbusters is unquestionably among the small number of movies in that class."

The new game will be set in the early 1990s after the events of Ghostbusters II.

Some supporting cast members have even signed up to participate, including Annie Potts who played the ghost-busting team's receptionist, Janine.

Several Ghostbusters games were released around the time of the two movies, and one in the past decade was tied to the animated series, Extreme Ghostbusters.

I'll title this "Sadness"

Nightmare Hell Cat

More Cowbell!

What happened to my Joey?

Matt LeBlanc

Ok, I do miss my Friends. My weekly foray into the gloriousness that was Joey. I didn't recognize this pic at first, but now that I look at it more, I have come to a conclusion: He is even hotter now! I am diggin the gray hair! And even thought my own favorite silver fox thinks I am making fun of his own lovely locks, I am here to tell him once again -
Even though there is snow on the roof, there is fire down below,... even though it may be belching smoke. (Well, not anymore, that is! :)

Trixie's Got a J O B!!!

That's right Kiddies, the Trixter is employed!

I started today at a local scrapbook shop, 5 minutes from my house! Scrapbook store!! I finally get to put my AOL name to good use!! (Scrappin' Neecie) The only thing that could be more perfect is if I got a job as a Cookie Tester with Patrick Warburton as my boss!

It's the first real job I've had in about 16 years, if you don't call being an Avon goddess a real job. Or a domestic goddess for that matter. I was a little worried how the kids would take it, they've always had Mom there. But, they're getting older, and I REALLY don't want to be one of those moms who's just sitting in a chair waiting for the school bus to get home and having no life in between. I think this is going to be great for all of us, I really do.

I'll have to ask my boss first before I post a link, but it is the cutest shop you'll ever see! Trixie is most excited!!!

This can't be real

I've met some asses before. I've dated several. But this guy on the Dr. Phil show is such a complete Douche-Dragon, I don't even believe he's for real. I mean, obviously, his cool aviators and fake porn-stache are a great disguise. But can he actually believe he is going to be taken seriously? Can people be that stupid? Wait, I think I answered my own question.

What Trixie is digging right now

If you want to roll like Trixie, and bask in coolness, check out Blue October if you haven't already. Great album. Way dark, but this guy is a poet all the way. Too bad these guys weren't around in my high school days - I can just imagine a 15 year old Trixie crying into her Corey Hart-shaped pillow listening to this...

Star Creek

Insert "I Don't Wanna Wait" soundtrack in the background while you watch...This explains so much.

Quite possibly the best game ever

A tribute to the Medusa!



I like nothing more than getting together with my friends and playing board games. Ok, that might sound like a boring night to some people, lame even. But I don't care. Because until you have played Phase10, the best card game ever! you have not lived. There is something about this game that brings out the best and worst in people. Why, it even transforms mild-mannered college professors into raving lunatics. Where competition flourishes, and hate flows like wine, there I will be, having a great time with the greatest pals a girl could ask for.

If you've never played this game, check it out here: http://thehouseofcards.com/retail/phase10.html

Never saw this episode

Ok, I've sung the praises of the best show on tv - Sci Fi's "Ghost Hunters"....but I really don't remember it like this....

Bigfoot?

RIDGWAY, PA. — It's furry and walks on all fours.

Beyond that, about the only thing certain about the critter photographed by a hunter's camera is that some people have gotten the notion it could be a Sasquatch, or Bigfoot. Others say it's just a bear with a bad skin infection.

Rick Jacobs says he got the pictures from a camera with an automatic trigger that he fastened to a tree in the Allegheny National Forest, about 115 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, hoping to photograph deer.

"We couldn't figure out what they were," Jacobs said of the images captured on Sept. 16. "I've been hunting for years and I've never seen anything like this." He contacted the Bigfoot Research Organization, which pursues reports of a legendary two-legged creature that some people believe lives in parts of the U.S. and Canada.

"It appears to be a primate-like animal. In my opinion, it appears to be a juvenile Sasquatch," said Paul Majeta of the bigfoot group.

However, the Pennsylvania Game Commission has a more conventional opinion. Agency spokesman Jerry Feaser said conservation officers routinely trap bears to be tagged and often see animals that look like the photos.

"There is no question it is a bear with a severe case of mange," Feaser told The Bradford Era.

Comment: I don't see a bear, unless it's anorexic and misshapen. Escaped Chimpanzee, maybe....but not a bear. Discussion?

Rudy Giuliani's Push to Save America

Bea Arthur can drive you crazy....

GO TRIBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man! Richard Simmons Got OLD!!!

Another funny clip of Dave Letterman ridiculing Richard. Ya know what tho? I really dig Richard. I've always watched him, even when he had his old show on in the 80's, where he would give an exercise class, a cooking demo, and inevitable a crying session. He's a total weirdo, no doubt, but he does really seem like he has always tried to help people. In this clip, he has been trying to get a bill passed for mandatory phys ed in school. (Ok, I have the nightmare flashbacks to prove, I thought it WAS mandatory already?) But I will spread this clip around for him, I agree with what he's trying to do.

Mad props to ya, Richard!

More Aid in Food-Assisted Suicide

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (AP) -- The people who brought you the Monster Thickburger and the 1,100-calorie salad are at it again -- this time for breakfast.

"We don't try to hide what these are," a Hardee's spokesman said of the 920-calorie breakfast burrito.

Hardee's on Monday rolled out its new Country Breakfast Burrito -- two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla. The burrito contains 920 calories and 60 grams of fat.

Brad Haley, marketing chief for the St. Louis-based fast-food chain, said the burrito offers the sort of big breakfast item normally found in sit-down restaurants with an added advantage.

"It makes this big country breakfast portable," he said.

In 2003 the chain introduced a line of big sandwiches, including the Monster Thickburger. The 1,420-calorie sandwich is made up of two 1/3-pound slabs of beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered bun.

Even Hardees' chicken salad -- topped with onion rings and crispy chicken -- has 1,100 calories and 83 grams of fat.

The chain does offer some low-calorie options, including roast beef and chicken sandwiches.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a Washington-based advocate for nutrition and health, has called the Hardee's line of Thickburgers "food porn."

The group's senior nutritionist, Jayne Hurley, said Monday that the burrito was "another lousy invention by a fast-food company."

The "country breakfast bomb," as she called it, represents half a day's calories and a full day's worth of saturated fat and salt, to say nothing of cholesterol.

"That's all before 10 o'clock in the morning," she said.

Haley makes no apologies.

"We don't try to hide what these are," he said. "When consumers go to other fast-food places they feel like they've got to buy two of their breakfast sandwiches or burritos to fill up. This is really designed to fill you up."

The government's Center for Nutritional Policy and Promotion recommends a daily caloric intake ranging from 1,600 calories for sedentary women and older adults to 2,800 calories for teenage boys and active adults. Hardee's sees its core customers as young men ages 18 to 34, Haley said, though it expects a wider range for breakfast items.

The Man Cold

Millions of men everyday suffer from this debilitating illness. And women everywhere just don't get it. We need to raise awareness about The Man Cold. Maybe Bono could do a telethon.

Classic

The Carol Burnett Show was such a staple of my childhood. Many a time I would have Mom put my hair up in curlers and I would do my impression of her, telling jokes; I even had the whole ear tug thing going! Remember how hilarious it would get when Tim Conway would get going and have everybody in stitches? They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Bush Detects New Threat

Andy and Maynard,....You are in Luck!!!

Britney Wants YOU for Some Ding Dang Dancin'!

Posted Oct 15th 2007 7:43AM by TMZ Staff
Filed under: Train Wrecks, Britney Spears

Talk about getting your freak on: TMZ has learned that Britney Spears will be holding an open casting call this afternoon for dancers for her new video and upcoming tour. And by "open," Britney really means it -- anyone can show up at Millennium Dance Studio to audition from 5-9 PM.

We're told that Britney is supposed to be there, and that everyone who shows up will be put on tape so Brit can watch more of them later. Could the Next Great Federleezy be discovered today?

Of course, Spears was supposed to be at auditions last Thursday and Friday as well, and we all know how that turned out.

Freakin' Awesome!!

This gal has so much talent she makes my ears bleed. But, MAN, is she committed!

Kitty Pic of the Day

It's amazing what a little makeup can do!

I feel a hate crime coming on...

Dedicated to my pal Maynard, who has a most unhealthy fascination with the defendant in this video...

Which "Hero" Are You?

For those of you who are as addicted to "Heroes" as my hubby is, and for those of you like me who have no idea who anyone is aside from the damn cheerleader that you see EVERYWHERE, here is a quiz to see which Hero you would be.

Turns out I'm 'Isaac', whoever that is. "A creative person that uses art as an outlet for coping with what the world throws at you. You may have a tortured soul, but through your pain you will help the world."

Uh, yeah...that's me. I'm way tortured...

Here's the link:
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20057452,00.html

National Alert

That Full House Episode Where They Meet The Beach Boys Is On Tomorrow At 3 P.M.

WASHINGTON, DC—The United States was placed on high alert this morning as the Department of Homeland Security revealed credible evidence suggesting that tomorrow afternoon at approximately 3 p.m., 2 p.m. Central, ABC Family Channel will air that one Full House episode where the Tanners meet the Beach Boys.

We strongly advise all Americans to remain indoors between 3:00 and 3:30 p.m., huddle close together with their loved ones, and sit still and stay completely silent unless it's a commercial," Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said during a live television address this morning. "In fact, we recommend you be fully prepared by 2:58, so you don't miss the part in the beginning where Danny, Uncle Joey, and the rest of the gang talk like surfers."

Although a general advisory to watch classic Full House episodes is always in effect, government records rate this episode as a 9.1 out of 10, or "Superb." Episodes of this caliber and higher require nationwide warnings.

"Based on Internet chatter pieced together from ABC Family message boards, we can say with relative certainty that it's the one where D.J. wins Beach Boys tickets in the radio contest, but she can only bring one guest, and she picks Uncle Jesse, and Danny gets upset, and then the Beach Boys come over to their house for some reason and start singing 'Kokomo,'" CIA Director Michael Hayden said. "We are unable to reveal any more information at this time, since doing so might ruin all the best parts."

"However, I'm confident the American people know which one we are talking about," Hayden added. "Remember? There's a concert, and the Tanners go onstage and sing? Oh, and the Beach Boys do the 'Beach Boy huddle.' You'll remember once you start watching."

CIA intelligence could not confirm whether or not Kimmy Gibbler makes an appearance during the episode.

"Keep your eyes and ears open," said Chertoff, noting that the threat of laughter is "very real" and that the situation should be taken lightly. "It is up to each and every one of you to be aware of the small but memorable moments, like Joey and Jesse's jingle for Beach Butter Suntan Lotion, or that ridiculous yellow blazer Deej wears to the concert. And only through constant vigilance will you catch Danny's 'Smurfs on Ice' joke."

All citizens have been urged to immediately contact relatives, friends, and neighbors and assure them that little Michelle says something adorable, being absolutely clear exactly which Full House episode featuring the Beach Boys they mean, since the band appeared in two other episodes later in the series. Those who do not have access to cable are advised to seek refuge with someone who does.

"Be warned—this is not the one where the Tanner family goes on vacation to Hawaii and Danny has his 'Clipboard of Fun' and they end up lost because the island they were sailing to turned out to be a potato-chip crumb on the map and then there's Joey and that hula dancer that he keeps seeing and something about Uncle Jesse and Elvis," Chertoff said. "That episode is from the third season, and contrary to popular belief, the Beach Boys do not appear in it."

"We repeat: This is not the Hawaii one," Chertoff added.

The announcement has been met with criticism from citizens who claim the warning has come too late, although the DHS has known about it for months. Many are comparing the situation to the tragic events of 4/13, in which the American people were not notified about the Cheers episode where Cliff goes on Jeopardy! until there were only two minutes left in the show and all the funny parts were over.

Chertoff said the DHS has drawn up a recommended course of action for those who may have to miss the episode in the event of an emergency.

"If you are planning to record the episode using a digital recording device, I have four words of advice for you: 'Save until manually erased,'" Chertoff said. "And for those of you who own the second season on DVD, well, lucky you. Go check out Disc 4, the Howie episode, where Michelle says 'Howie no go.' Priceless."

The DHS discontinued the practice of videotaping classic TV episodes and loaning them out to citizens when, in 2006, they accidentally recorded over the latest al-Qaeda tape with the Home Improvement Christmas special where Mark thinks Wilson is Santa.

Source: The Onion

Time Passages

Andy was going through his computer tonight and found this old pic of Molly in pre-school. This adorable little round face has given us so much joy, and so many headaches. But, they're good headaches. Even when she's talking so much I just want to rip my arm off and stick it in my ear so I can get some peace and quiet, I just look at this little face and I see God.


Then, age 4...

Now, age 8.

Another's pain is funny!

Ok, anyone would be a little dumbstruck to have a broken bat flying at their heads, but check out the following:

1. The guy with the red hat; doesn't it just look like he's screaming "EEK!" What is it, a flying mouse?
2. The lady with the big black aviator sunglasses- ok, she looks so annoying that I kinda wish the bat hit her anyway.
3. The guy in the plaid shirt with the gum hanging out of his mouth-what is his deal? Ok, a bat is coming at you, are you trying to SCARE it away? "BRARRRRR! Be gone evil bat!" It's the real life Dr. Orpheus!

Tune In!

I am so stoked! (Is that even still a word? Ok, never mind, that was lame)
I'm way excited for Wednesday night's season premiere of



on the Sci-Fi Channel. For those of you unfamiliar with this awesome show, here is a quick synopsis:

Roto-Rooter plumbers by day, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson head up a paranormal investigation team by night. They mostly ghost hunt in the area surrounding their Rhode Island headquarters but have been known to travel the country and Europe to investigate famously haunted locations. (They even came to Ohio to check out the Mansfield Reformatory!)

The show usually airs two investigations a week. Each investigated is front loaded by a scene describing where they are going to investigate. The team then does a walkthrough of the location usually with the owner of the location explaining the haunted locations in the house. The team then sets up for the investigation.

The investigation lasts five or six hours. The show cuts between teams of two investigating various locations and shows them performing various ghost hunting techniques. After the investigation, the team collects their equipment.

The analysis segment comes next with team members watching/listening to the collected evidence searching for paranormal oddities.

Lastly is the reveal. The reveal takes place when Jason and Grant confront the haunted locations owner(s) with the evidence they have or have not collected. The reveal can also involve Jason and Grant giving helpful information to the owners as to how to deal with various hauntings.

Jason and Grant formed TAPS, or the Atlantic Paranormal Society.





How awesome would it be to actually do this and get paid??



Some day when I'm rich, I'm going to buy a Winnebago and travel the country investigating ghosties. And I'm going to rock at it. Yeah!

to keep the good feeling going...

Driving around doing deliveries today, I heard this song on the satellite radio. It's another one of those that you forget how much you love it until you hear it after a long absence. Just had to share, enjoy!

When In Rome - "The Promise"

Sometimes you forget to appreciate the really good things in life, did you ever notice that?
I mean, it's really easy to focus on life's minor annoyances. The chode who cuts in front of you, kids fighting with each other, some rude little salesgirl who makes you want to shake her til she turns blue and the only sound that comes out of her is "mep".
These things are easy to focus on. It's really hard to remember all the beautiful things. When my kids aren't trying to kill each other, and when they think I'm not looking are totally sweet to each other, when I get a totally sweet new avon customer,my beautiful friends, kitties, puppies, babies, (ok ok, you're right, I am on a hormonal upswing, but they don't come often so deal with it)
But one of my favorite beautiful things is my love for my hubby, and his for me. It's something I treasure, and never thought I'd find. Never thought I deserved, really. One of my most favorite things to do is just sit with him and insult each other. (Sounds douchy, but he knows what I mean! LOL!)
I'm dedicating this video to him, "Everything" by Michael Buble. Not only is it a great song, but sums up how I feel. In this crazy life, and in these crazy times, it's you, you make me smile, you make me sing, you're my everything.
I love you Andy.

Oh, and by the way, I put too much on the credit card today. Sorry? :)

How to Scar Your Child For Life

"Ha ha ha...look at little brat....she so scared...Hee hee hee!"

Pathetic

It's kinda sad, and way embarrassing, that I have nothing better to do than watch crap like this on the internet. I could be cleaning my house, doing laundry, bagging up Avon orders, even exercising! (Ha ha, that was a good one!) But no, I am wasting time with funny kitties. Sad.

At least I'm not eating Bon Bons.

The Clearest UFO Video EVER!

Wow.

Nickelback Rockstar Spoof - Popstar Britney Spears VMA - Click here for the most popular videos

I was pretty busy last weekend

Rosie O Pisses Off the Oprah!

Rosie O’Donnell just got herself blacklisted by the most powerful woman in American media — Oprah Winfrey. According Page Six

Nobody says no to Oprah Winfrey - except Rosie O’Donnell. Insiders say Winfrey wanted to have her on her show to talk about O’Donnell’s book, “Celebrity Detox,” which bashes Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Donald Trump and others. But while many would kill to be on Oprah’s program, which sells books by the boatload, O’Donnell declined. “She’s doing an interview with Diane Sawyer instead,” our spy said. Cindi Berger, O’Donnell’s rep, said, “Rosie has always been booked with Diane. We gracefully declined Oprah’s offer. I’m sure Rosie will do Oprah’s show another time.”

Oprah’s response?

What have I ever done to make her treat me so disrespectfully? If she’d come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined her daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest woman like herself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

Then she calmly finished wrapping up the carp in newspaper, tied it with a piece of twine and spat on it before making the sign of the cross. You know she’s totally going to make Rosie an offer she can’t refuse. Something good, like wagon full of Twinkies or a lifetime supply of flannel. Or maybe just a shot gun barrel to the side of the face. One way or another, we’re going to be seeing Rosie O’Donnell on Oprah. Trust me. Never go against the Winfrey.

source: BestWeekEver.tv

Uh.....duh?

Ore. man puts snake in his mouth, nearly dies

10:59 AM PDT on Tuesday, September 18, 2007

By TERESA BELL-BLACKMAN and SCOTT BURTON, KGW Staff

A Portland man nearly died after putting a pet rattlesnake into his mouth to show off for friends.

Matt Wilkenson admitted that he made a poor decision, but he’d been drinking and messing around with friends and apparently lost some common sense.

“It's actually kind of my own stupid fault,” he told KGW.

Wilkenson said he’s always felt comfortable with his pet snakes and he thinks they could sense that.

“Their tails would be rattling you reach your hand in the cage and they're more scared of you than you are of them and they wouldn't strike,” he explained.

So when he was showing off his reptile relations with friends, he thought it would be fun to put the Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake into his mouth and make them laugh.

However this test of fate was not laughable at all.

The rattlesnake latched onto the back of his throat and sent venom surging into his body.

“Me being me, I put his head in my mouth,” Wilkenson recalled. “At first it felt like someone just gave me a shot in the mouth."

And within seconds, his tongue began to swell up, fill his mouth and cut off his airway.

"When your arm falls asleep and it's like a painful fall asleep, it's like that, but 10 times stronger and it was just my whole body,” he told KGW.

Wilkenson was dying and the pressure forced blood out of his nose. Doctors later told him the snake had shot enough venom in his body to kill as many as 15 people.

He was losing his life as he arrived at Oregon Health and Science University but quick-thinking doctors inserted a breathing tube in his throat and injected anti-venom into his body.

Wilkenson was also put into a medical-induced coma for three days, to give his body time to recover.

Miraculously, it all worked and three weeks later, he’s doing well. The hole in his throat is healing properly and doctors said he’s on the path to a full recovery.

Wilkenson said he’s still a snake guy, but he learned his lesson.

“I still love snakes, but I'll take a little more care in handling them,” he said.

As for the pet rattlesnake, it no longer lives at Wilkenson’s house. But he does still have a young bull snake as a pet that is not venomous.

Incredible likeness

Republican Candidate Fred Thompson and Vigo the Carpathian, from Ghostbusters II.
THIS is what we need in Washington, would you mess with this guy???

Kick ass!!!

Here ya go Maynard

Priceless. Perfect for the new parent.
Don't blink, or you might miss the Giant Dancing Turd!

An open letter to Kanye West

I will be the first to admit, I don't get into a lot of rap. I know what I like - I have various tastes in music. It took a while, but I became a fan of Eminem, I've ignored his misogynistic lyrics and taken them as they should be - a bit of advice. Ha ha. I've always liked Will Smith - he raps happy! I'll be the first to admit I'm white as they come, I have very little rhythm, and grew up with Elvis for God's sake. You even had me with Golddigger- that beat got into my head, your lyrics made me giggle; I was intrigued.

But I for the life of me cannot understand why you have a career.
Your questionable talent notwithstanding, you have to be the biggest douchebag in an industry where there is many.

And all political commentary aside, the whole "George Bush doesn't care about black people" thing...come on. Give me a freakin break. You're not helping your cause dude. We understand your frustration in something that was handled extremely badly, to say the least, but come up with half of an intelligent comment and you might be taken seriously.

And your crybaby whining over your losses at the VMA's. Good Lord. Who has been kissing your ass so much in the last few years to make you believe your talent is so incredible? I am so sick of turning on the tv and seeing your mongoloid mug. And now you're saying that MTV is trying to keep the black man down? Have you even watched MTV in the last 20 years?

What is it with you "artists" that make you think we want to listen to anything you say beyond your albums? (I'm not just talking about you here, try and deal with that, Ego.) Sheryl Crow, Jon Bon Jovi, Sting, Madonna...the list goes on. When the hell did you become political authorities? I don't care what you think, honestly. I can form my own opinions-really! You making an occasional enjoyable song does not mean you can tell my how to vote, or how much toilet paper to use. Duh. All of you need to get over your own self importance, and shut the hell up and sing. Or dance, or act, or direct, (except you Michael Moore, because I just remembered you're an even bigger douche than Kanye!) Leave the politics to the crooks who get paid for it.

Your friend,
Trixie

Blingtarded

Which Superhero Are You?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% Superman 70% Wonder Woman 59% Hulk 55% Robin 52% Green Lantern 50% Supergirl 49% Iron Man 45% The Flash 40% Batman 30% Catwoman 25%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Information Superhighway

So I got an email the other day. You know one of those forwardable ones, that you delete immediately, unless you're extremely bored? Well, this one was actually kind of cool - it just asked you to Tag another person, with telling 10 things about yourself that would surprise someone who thinks they know you. Thought it was cool anyway, but I didn't feel like emailing it out and getting no replies, so if you want to play, feel free to reply. Here's mine!

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me! (The Trixter)

1. I used to be a Miss Cleo tarot reader on the Psychic Network.
2. If I could do anything else in life, ( besides selling Avon!) I would be on Broadway, performing in musicals.
3. I have ALWAYS wanted to adopt a child.
4. I'm actually a lot skinnier in real life- the human eye adds 50 lbs.
5. My absolute favorite food is Brussell sprouts.
6. I can stick my tongue up my nose. Don't ask me why, I just can.
7. I didn't have my first kiss til I was 18. (Ok, that one's embarrassing)
8. My nickname as a child was Pookie.
9. The only time I ever got really drunk, I ended up standing up in my bedroom at 4 in the morning and peeing on the carpet, and later had to blame it on the dog. (Ok, slightly embarrassing, but still not as bad as #7)
10. I really love old Doris Day and Rock Hudson movies.

Ok, that's me in a nutshell. Ooooohhhh.....exciting!

Joke of the Day

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

A "WTF" Moment

With regards to my pal Maynard, on his recent rant about organized sports, I repeat, WTF?!?!

So....Al Gore DIDN'T Invent It?

So long Summer

It's Sunday night, the kids are finally asleep, (they go back to school tomorrow!) and I am depressed as hell! Where did the summer go?
I remember as a kid summer used to last for a year!
We would be gone from sunup til the streetlights came on - we would check in with Mom and Dad for an occasional meal, a fix of a bump or scrape, maybe a quarter so we could walk down to the store to get a popsicle, and be right back out again! But I do know that by the time August rolled around I was ready to go back. Now that I'm an adult it seems like it goes by in the blink of an eye.
I feel guilty too that my family didn't see much of me this summer. I haven't worked since my daughter was born, and this whole Avon thing has been a bit of an adjustment for all of us. I keep having to remind myself it will all be worth it when I'm an Executive Unit Leader and making 6 figure salaries. Soon, Trixie, soon!
Anyway, I know we did have some fun. I would have liked to take a major vacation, but it just wasn't in the cards. (Or the purse, for that matter!)
We like to take a lot of short trips during the summer, and this one we were able to take quite a few. The day after the kids got out, Andy had to go to Boston for a weekend work trip, and I was able to go with him. It was awesome-my first time in Boston!


It was a nice relaxing weekend with my bestest buddy....


I got my very first taste of real New England Clam Chowdah!!!






We also got to go to Cedar Point, for Andy's annual company picnic! It's always fun to go there, (especially since it's free!!)

It just so happened the day we went was Molly's 8th birthday, and Andy's boss stood up and announced "A special little girl is turning 8 today, let's wish her a happy birthday" and everyone clapped for her. She was so embarrassed, but very happy.

It's a shame, though, that Molly and I are the only ones who like roller coasters - Andy and Alex hate them! But at least we were all able to ride the train! After Cedar Point we went on up to Michigan to visit the family. A great little mini vacation!













Alex got to play with his favorite cousin - Bailey the Retarded Squirrel! (Actually he's not a retarded squirrel - he's a very pampered Yorkie-Poo)


OH, and let's not forget, the Harry Potter Book 7 Release party! An awesome event, held in Hudson Ohio. Alex dressed up as a wizard, had total strangers coming up asking to take his picture!














We also took a day and went up to Lake Erie to walk on the beach. I couldn't believe how warm the water was! I was expecting it to be freezing like it is in Lake Michigan. A little cruddy, perhaps, but very warm! And as you can see, a gorgeous day!





I wish summer could last so much longer, that you could fit in everything in that you wanted to.

But now school is starting, Alex's first year of high school, Molly's third grade. It's time for me to start singing a big chorus of "Sunrise, Sunset". Yikes. I am such a sap.

The Death of Common Sense

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.

Obituary
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Band-Aid to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, sing his praises. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A gift

Christina Aguilera and her newly preggers bod.

Don't really have anything funny or witty to say; just a gift for my husband. All for you baby - luvya.

Sweet.

One of my favorite all time Saturday Night Live sketches - Alex Trebek, (done so well by Will Farrell) with Sean Connery making fun of Alex, this just kills me every time. I came upon this vid on the internet, and I have new respect for Trebek. He rocks. :)

Stealing something else from Facebook

the "I hate Nicholas Cage with a Fiery Passion" group.

What we're about: This is a group for those of us who can't stand the lackluster acting, the slackjawed vacancy, the watery blue eyes, the unintelligible mutterings, or the long hangdog face of stupid Nicholas Cage. We hate his boring acting choices. We hate his pasty complexion. We hate that his only expression is an apathetic "You killed my puppy?" look of concern. We hate his receding hairline. And above all things, we wonder how anyone would ever believe that he could be a romantic interest. Ever.

Ok, I did join this one....
Seriously,....this was only one of many about Old Nick