Sunday, June 22, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Proof.
The following picture was taken at a Coldplay concert for the BBC; it includes Jay Z, Ricky Gervais, and an unknown white woman.
THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE LOOK LIKE WHEN THEY LISTEN TO COLDPLAY!!!!!
COLDPLAY BRINGS NO ONE JOY!!!!!
Take that, Andy.
THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE LOOK LIKE WHEN THEY LISTEN TO COLDPLAY!!!!!
COLDPLAY BRINGS NO ONE JOY!!!!!
Take that, Andy.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Jurassic Park in da hood
http://view.break.com/514668 - Watch more free videos
Something else I've stolen from Holy Taco. This is awesome, but don't listen if you're at work, or offended by harsh language. (Course, why would you be here anyway if you were?)
The coolest Bar Mitzvah ever
http://view.break.com/479183 - Watch more free videos
Epilogue: For the kid's 14th birthday, he ingested a cocktail of Ajax, vodka, and paint thinner so he could escape from the haunting images of his beloved family. Be sure to check out the rockin' grampa, and the drunk aunt in pink on the left.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I don't care how big her behind is, she's ok in my book!
NEW YORK — Students at a Staten Island, New York, elementary school for autistic children sure like the way Jennifer Lopez moves.
Teacher Kathy Amati and a paraprofessional showed the video for Lopez's "Let's Get Loud" to the students at P.S. 37. The children liked it so much, they wanted to watch it every day.
They learned the lyrics and the dance moves from the video.
With their teacher's encouragement, they wrote to Lopez, hoping for pictures or an autograph. Instead, she asked to come to their graduation.
On Tuesday, the singer-actress performed "Let's Get Loud" for a group of eight 10- and 11-year-olds at their graduation ceremony.
Teacher Kathy Amati and a paraprofessional showed the video for Lopez's "Let's Get Loud" to the students at P.S. 37. The children liked it so much, they wanted to watch it every day.
They learned the lyrics and the dance moves from the video.
With their teacher's encouragement, they wrote to Lopez, hoping for pictures or an autograph. Instead, she asked to come to their graduation.
On Tuesday, the singer-actress performed "Let's Get Loud" for a group of eight 10- and 11-year-olds at their graduation ceremony.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Finally!
I stumbled across this today. Really great advice from an intelligent man. I especially love the epilogue!
Matrimonial advice from a very considerate & loving husband:
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
My name is Jeff. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Susie. Since I retired several years ago, it has become necessary
for Susie to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. It was then I
noticed she was starting to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I
don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me
when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's
Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing
the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix
herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may
as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Susie.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth
to help each other.
Sincerely, Jeff
EDITOR'S NOTE
Jeff died suddenly on March 1 of a perforated rectum. The police report
says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver
II golf club jammed up his backside, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Susie was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty,
accepting her defence that Jeff somehow, without looking, accidentally
sat down on his golf club.
Matrimonial advice from a very considerate & loving husband:
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
My name is Jeff. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Susie. Since I retired several years ago, it has become necessary
for Susie to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. It was then I
noticed she was starting to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I
don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me
when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's
Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing
the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix
herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may
as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Susie.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth
to help each other.
Sincerely, Jeff
EDITOR'S NOTE
Jeff died suddenly on March 1 of a perforated rectum. The police report
says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver
II golf club jammed up his backside, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Susie was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty,
accepting her defence that Jeff somehow, without looking, accidentally
sat down on his golf club.
Friday, June 13, 2008
More Harry
JK Rowling recently released a couple pages of a non-existing prequel to the Harry Potter series, chronicaling James and Sirius when they were young, that was sold at a charity auction. If you're like me, and going through serious (no pun intended) withdrawel of all things Harry, you can read it here.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
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